Every 15 Minutes was powerful, exhausting, and inspiring. Each life is so precious and every person is loved. Thank you to the brave people who spoke. Rest in paradise those whose lives’ were taken to early. Comfort those who lose loved ones. Wisdom to everyone who witnessed the assembly and learned that every time you get into a car, not only your life, but the lives of others are at risk when you decide drink or text while driving. Don’t waste a life, it is far too beautiful.
Going to COCC for the first few years. Fuck thousands of dollars in loans, fuck putting myself in debt forever. Plus getting a cute little apartment downtown with Hailey and possibly sahara will be the best thing ever. We will just “watch twilight 24-7 and get 2 cats” said by hailey. I’m excited. Look down on me if you want, but at least I’m being fiscally responsible.
I woke up to go sub for swim lessons and it was a beautiful morning. Made plans to go to the beach and hopped in the water ready to teach.
They were some god awful classes. Saturday is notorious for bad classes. Half were stroke classes and I suck at correcting strokes, one was with 4 hyper beginners, and the other two was teaching breathing. Those kids. jgjrejrios never again.
Beach plans canceled.
Hung out at home. Learned a little more guitar except I have no idea if I’m doing it right. I need someone to tell me if the notes don’t match because I don’t think they do.
Went in my backyard for a little. It was nice.
Dairy Queen. It was delicious.
More swim lessons tomorrow. I need to take graphic design pictures…
I know community college isn’t shameful or horrible, but it seems like everyone is heading off to a university for those wonderful 4 years, while I try to nail out my general ed. I get so depressed thinking that I might have to stick it out at home for the next few years. Working. Saving. Prepping. I’m young, I feel like I need to go out and figure out my own path, something I cannot due at home. I can’t afford a UC. And my parents won’t pay for 4 years. I feel so lost. And maybe it’s dumb, but after having universityuniversityuniversity nailed into my brain for the past 4 years I thought maybe that’s where I’d go and that I’d get to share it with my friends, to write it on those slips of paper that teachers post, to have my name under a college that shows where the seniors are headed. I don’t have a dream, or a goal, or an idea. I just want to run and hope to find what I couldn’t here. I want my independence, but I don’t want to do this alone.
I am updating my photowall. I went through every picture I’ve taken since the start of Senior Year. I laughed at the things I’ve forgotten and it’s fun looking back. Reminiscing with myself, seeing how far I’ve come, makes me want to hold onto the time I’ve got left.
A few nights ago there was a dream where Brenda proposed to a white guy with a handmade card. It was weird.
And last night I had a dream I was seeing a really elaborate church production with one of my friends. And this girl comes up to my friend (I think it was Kelsey) and just stares at her and stands there because she wants her seat. And then Kelsey moves and I stand up to her and say something like “You can’t take her seat just because you think you are all that and a bag of fucking chips”. I don’t know I was really angry in my dream. But she backed down due to my clever word choice.
Why do I get a ton of chocolate and then a week to sit with my cats and eat it. WHYYY.
I feel like I’m getting some blog lurkers. I’m not okay with that. And for any of you out there, I don’t follow back if I can’t tell who you are within the first page of your blog. May the internet be kind.
Changed our cats named. Lily and James. <3 They are much more open and friendly. Come visit them.
Easter at my grandparents. Conspiracy theories, hardcore republicans, lamb, dog hair, and dessert. Classic family get together.
My family went to the spca today to “just look” at cats because we have been wanting some.
We went into one room with 4 kitties and as soon as I sat down, one jumped into my lap. The rest nuzzled against us and played. One of the volunteers told us that room was FIV, or feline AIDs, cats. We hung around them and wondered if we would be willing to give up a backyard, garden buddy for the sweetest lapcat ever. We visited every room, but none could match those first ones. We walked out with two cats, Sally and Diggy. Whose names are subject to change and are currently purring and hanging out in my room.
Sometimes it’s hard to be a teenager. Because everyone just feels like they suck. And today I feel like I suck. And I don’t really want to go into it because I don’t like sharing my feelings. But I needed a vent post. It has been very unsatisfying.